Monday, January 24, 2005

dinner conversations

This evening at dinner, I was about to die from cumpolsitory sneezing. I sneezed (it seemed to me) about a billion times. I tried to get my dinner in the caf without spilling all over the place (I was shaking, trying not to sneeze on food and people) my efforts for not spilling were almost semi succesful (there was only one very embarassing 2 seconds). I saw three of my absolute favorite guys on campus sitting at a large, rectangular table, so I huried over to sit next to them. They are my favorite guys on campus because I find that most of the other males wondering about are insecure, not the highest quality and sometimes feminine due to their unmanliness (I am NOT referring to tight jeans/european clothing styles, what I reffer to goes slightly deeper under the surface in referrence to confidence, initiative, worthiness of great respect...). I really noticed that a large number of guys here were insecure at the start of this semester. It was when, in each class, the professors would ask the students to to share their names, majors and an interesting fact about themselves. This is a summary of what most of the guys acted like:
"Um.... uh... (as their heads leaned slightly forward with their hair completely comering their faces) um... my name is ..mmm... Chris (or Matt or David or one of those other absurdly common names) ... I'm uh studying... like.. uh music/music business/ business... and uh... I can't really uh think about anything that interesting.... oh yeah... I have a dog."

It was sort of amusing, but sad to see all of this possible talent, this potential, the embodiments of the future crumble before my eyes in what appeared to be insecurity...

But enough of that. I had lovely conversation at the table with these guys.
One consisted of the important question : "is it worse for a girl to know that she's pretty/ beautiful or is it worse for a girl to know that she's ugly/disgusting?" the same question can go for a guy.

I then told them about my assumptions of the guys at this school, they agreed for the most part and asked what I thought of each of them. One was insecure a good amount of the time, one was rarely and the other I have rarely ever thought him to be - and according to them the one I had thought never was said he was (I don't think so- he just thinks of the human mind too much) the one in the middle agreed and the other one wasn't to happy at my conclusions, and i guess he is a little more confident than what I had said.

I then asked them what they thought about this odd situation. Hmmm... I think this needs to wait till next time. It's sort of long and needs a good amount of explanation.


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